Good relations with parents are very important in personal development
We often think that parents do not understand anything in the modern world and we are very mistaken. Suppose that’s the case, why do not we help them then, and proudly try to show that we can all do ourselves, demonstrating our own pride?
We and our parents did not come to this world by chance. We are connected as a family because of some specific goals appeared in our lives to be solved. We need parents, just like our parents need us. While in our relations with parents there will be no harmony, understanding and agreement, we will not have a full-fledged harmonious personal life, but there will always be unknown and known problems.
Do you think this is not important? How does it affect panic attack? For example, if for some reason the father does not pay enough attention to his son in the childhood, they live separately, the necessary connection between them is not established, the gap is increasing. At an older age, it turns into conflicts, misunderstandings and negative growth – especially if son and father live in the same house. They see the world differently, they do not have points of contact. And here I have nothing to say, the statement that it is a struggle or a rivalry – we all have an intelligence and human mind that analyzes everything and is able to adequately assess the situation from a human point of view, we are not animals in the full sense of the word. And it is here that the son begins to restrain emotions, the internal conflict grows, he does not achieve certain goals in his life – because the body is not healthy, is not able to do it, the father is even more remoted from son now – and there is a vicious circle.
What to do? Do I need to offend my father? No way. And not only because your father brought you up in difficult times, no matter how hard it was. The most important here is harmony. If you did not have close communication with your father in childhood, you can get it right now. If your father despises you, has doubts about your strengths or abilities, you need to prove the opposite by doing things and achievements. But not indicative, but gradually, so that it was not the number one goal. First of all, you need to learn to communicate with your dad. When he is yelling at yo – do not scream in response, and if you can not keep anger – go to another room or outdoors. This is not a defeat! At first it will be very difficult, but it is needed by you both. After you have calmed down, be sure to come to a conversation and calmly explain to your father what you think is wrong. Explain it being not nervous. It may be that you are wrong, then acknowledge it. But if you are right – express your point of view and prove your opinion. Even if the father publicly will not recognize it in front of you, he will understand it. And next time he will understand that you are often right as well, but most likely he won’t express it. And since this time it will be easier every now and then. The destruction of old stereotypes is not easy, but noble, and most importantly – necessary thing.
Talk more with your dad on different topics, give advices in which you are sure. In parallel, do what you like, make self-improvement. Your father will see positive changes in you, although he will not talk aloud about them, at least he will not say at once. When you start earning enough – do not brag about this, but rather help the family – for example, buy a freezer or a new TV. Father will appreciate it. But remember that your long-term goal is to create your own family nest. Try to spend time with your father on the weekends – on fishing, in a mushroom trip, cook together on grill. Even if the father wants to rule the process – do not argue with him, let him do that, but if you have a proper advice – do not be silent, but express your thoughts and tell your opinion aloud.
Never in your conversations with others, even with family members, or even more – with other people, do not reproach your father, and do not condemn him beyond his back, saying that he is not right in something or is doing something wrong. This is yours and his business, so you can personally tell him what you do not like.
If your father is aggressive, do not respond to him with aggression. Maybe he does not understand why this is happening at the moment, but you are working on yourself, analyzing, so you have to understand your dad and help him. If the father is conservative, it will be difficult, but it’s real, step by step.
As soon as you establish good relations with your father in parallel with self-improvement, you will see how important your support is to him, and his support to you. You will see how much your own life will change for the better. We are accustomed to responding typically – with aggression to aggression, and you try this time to do atypically – react for aggression calmly, not demonstratively, but with understanding avoid the conflict, and then talk. All your troubles will be resolved. Do not worry about the fact that you live with parents at that age when most people of your age already live separately. They have their own life, not necessarily happy, but you have your own. There is time for everything in this life. Everything is in your hands and depends on you and your strength. You are on the path to correcting your shortcomings, on the path to self-improvement and establishing relationships with your father, and this is one of the elements of your path – elements, which you, as a son, must do in your life. As soon as your will, spirit and body are strengthened, you will be ready for “free swimming” and you will create your harbor; otherwise, as all times before, you will only make unsuccessful sorties in a harsh outside world and with every hurricane you will return to quiet home harbor every time and good if the ship will be plucked, but afloat, but not will go to the bottom.