Do not let your loved ones prevent you from being happy at work
Today, I will tell you how the closest loved ones who really want all the best for you, may deprive you of the opportunity to succeed in life. I have already written that in order to get rid of panic attacks it is important to do the job you like, even if at first everything seems very difficult, unrealistic and does not bring much money. You do not need to listen to anyone except your heart and do not ask advice from your friends or even your immediate family, because what you feel is the basis and you better know what you want to do, and the thoughts of your relatives are their own thoughts based on their experience and attitude to life, and everyone has different experience.
I had a period when I just made first steps in my ow business which started, actually, like a hobby; yes, that time I was engaged in it as a hobby and when it started to bring a good profit, but the main work still brought more money, but at the same time constant stress, I did not like that work, and during that work I hated, panic attacks began to happen. I decided to leave this work and wanted my hobby to become my main source of profit, devoting it most of my free time. I have decided to consult with my relatives and “cried” what a bad job I have and how cool would be to do what I want. And guess what? Nobody understood me, on the contrary, they said that I imagined all my stress, there is no stress at all; they also said that I earn well, and my hobby is not enough to become a source of profit and complete work.
Since then panic attacks have become increasingly frequent and lasting about a year in that hated bank, I retired with sick nervous system. After retirement I slept for 16 hours during the first month, could not watch the TV, was getting nervous in public places and public transport, was very tormented next day after drinking alcohol, and since then panic attacks have become my “companions” from time to time. It was 5 years ago. If I, when I was healthy, left that hated job and started doing what I want, then I’m sure that now I would earn good money, have my own family, would be happy and I would not know what panic attacks are; I can not blame my relatives, because I should have make the decision myself, but I didn’t; I took it too late because of the weak power of will, the uncertainty and my fears and you see what it all turned out. So if you are now in a situation like I was then (I was looking for how to quickly change the hateful work) – do not hesitate and act the way your heart tells you, otherwise you will come to that all again in the future, but only much later and lose a lot of time as I once have lost.
After I quit the job, I could not work normally, and for a long time I only had fun and was not serious about work. I had a bad habit of having fun with friends and having no day mode at all. I did not actually think about the future, I did not do my hobby, which could then grow into main work. Certain attempts to start work on my own sometimes appeared, and if then I did everything that I had planned, now everything would be different, but I was disturbed by my own uncertainty in my abilities. I decided to go abroad, found office work there, but the nervous system was already sick, the work was monotonous and difficult, and I started to feel panic attacks again, so I start drinking alcohol, because I did not know what was with me, but alcohol helped me only a little at first for some time, and then and in general it “totally killed” my already sick nervous system. It all finished that I was left with nothing – I came back home from abroad and found myself on the same spot and with the same amount of money where I was 4 years ago. Having analyzed all my life, I began to do something that brought both pleasure and profit – that’s my longtime hobby. And in three months I started earning twice as much as the average salary in my country per month, but here unpleasant surprise was waiting for me – panic attacks, stress, break up with girlfriend – in short, I did not know what is panick attack, what happens to me and worked mentally a lot, overloading my nervous system. For a month and a half, I “left” out of work, but after visiting the psychologist, I realized what is happening with me and began to work on myself. Began to keep to the regime of the day, and despite the long repair works at home I tried to do physical activity and work by the computer on my hobby, which became a work and began to bring me good profit.
And here I get to the main point. The symbolic “kick in the back” comes from your relatives when you do not wait for it. They support you, worry about you, but in their own way – to the best of their understanding. When in one and a half months of my work (which used to be a hobby) I bought a mountain bike, a smartphone, an action camera, a quadcopter and a pile of different small needed at home things, some kind of food and so on, this is not taken into account; but wishing you all good, the relatives want you to work at”normal” work – “like everyone else” and it does not matter that I just started doing what I want and already earn twice as much as the average salary in the country, all this is not taken into account. The worst thing is that these money I earn so far is not enough to rent a house and fully work separately, but I am seeking this and I will achieve it. The arguments of relatives are becoming more frequent and stronger – sometimes in a form of a joke, sometimes sound seriously and sometimes I want to scream something like – Once I’ve listened to you and remained working in bank, got panic attacks and what happened? But it’s a matter for me, and not for my relatives, they just have such an outlook. I do not blame them. I understand they want all the best for me. It is weird only that no one ever came up and wondered what exactly I am doing, how I manage to earn money. I did not explain that I have the prospect of earning more and more every month, instead of getting a fixed “salary” every month, which will be destroyed by inflation. I didn’t explain my closest people that I have a prospect to have passive income.
For two months every day there was a change of furniture at home or repair works, and it seemed I did not do anything important, but I could not even plan my day, and it does not seem likewise to work; then the agricultural works in the village started and I was needed there to help; and when it finally “flared up” and I began to do what I want and what I have planned as a full-time job, then vacation of my relatives has ended and they went to work; and I worked at home and was very happy but for some reason they felt sorry for me, and started something like giving “tips” about possible work. This is their vision, not mine. The doctor said that it is better for me not to build grandiose plans for the next six months. I do not want to work for someone, I do not want to go to work abroad, I want to do what I like, and I know that if I am disciplined and constantly working, I will achieve here a great success, but I need the time that I finally decided to devote to the work I love and want to do. I will earn here much more than abroad and I will feel comfortable. I will no longer make such an error as before, I will not listen to anyone except myself, I’m sure in what I want and I am confident; if I do not succeed, then I will be responsible for this decision only myself, and if I would like to work for someone or would like to work abroad, I will be able to do it later. I understand that relatives are worried because time flies by, but right now I’m trying to do two things – to recover and provide the basis of my future, and if I go to some kind of “normal work” then after a while I will leave it and return to what I’m doing now just losing time again. Maybe they care about the thoughts of relatives, neighbors, acquaintances? Maybe they are not indifferent to someone’s thoughts, but I do not care about that, and I know what I’m doing.
It is weird that all my relatives at the same time recognizing me as intelligent person, who had a lot of prestigious work placements, (actually I hated most of those work placements) and at school I studied perfectly and at university I was successful and I speak a few foreign languages, but when it comes to my well-grounded position about what can I do, what I want, when I explain them that I can gradually create my own business and have already made huge half of it, that I can easily develop it on a larger scale, – the closest people do not believe me. They do not show it, but this is evident from their behavior. As it may be… , I do not know, but because of such attitude I get disappointment and this is somehow annoying. Only my sister, who works in a similar sphere, believes in me and understands me. But I’m on my way this time and I will not depart from what I want to do. Hopefully, my experience will be useful to you; if you are in doubt and now reading this – spit on the opinion of others and listen to your heart, it will not deceive you, because it knows the best what is better for you.