Deep causes of anxiety states and panic attacks as one of their consequences
Today, I want to share a simple technique that helps to identify the global causes of panic attacks or simpler – why panic attacks occur in general. One of the reasons is often a certain internal dissatisfaction with oneself, which leads to a certain complex or complexes, interrupts in many life situations and simply does not allow us to move on forcing to go someone else’s way, but not our own, which, of course, we do not like at all. And if I started spontaneously and quickly typing this text which arose in my mind and I’m afraid to miss something in order not to forget to write everything I want – then you have to know that this is something important and useful for you. Sometimes you may think that you’re missing something to be fully happy and to enjoy the life. Analyze yourself. Analyze thoughts in your mind, but even better would be to write them down on the sheet of paper. Honestly write down what you want the most and what prevents you from living the way you want. All the barriers are in our head and to get what we want they need to be eliminated. Our body subconsciously knows this and tells us, but if we resist it and do the opposite – it is depressed and on this background often occur panic attacks. So, to feel completely satisfied in my whole life I need to get $ 1,0000 a month. In my country, the average salary is in the range of 2000-3000 dollars, and if I had 10000, I could start to invest, bought dreamed car, become more confident, I would have fancy girl, I would also be able to buy my own house and travel. That’s how many people approximately think. An amount of $ 1,0000 is given just for an example, but what will happen when you get this amount? Nothing changes in your life. This money will just disappear somewhere, most amount will be spent on something empty, illogical, most likely at a fun hangout. You can buy or do something useful to your parents or family, but your dreams will remain dreams, because you do not change yourself. Why are you still not earning that dreamed $ 1,0000 a month? You have so many talents and you are a good specialist? Because in your brain there are unnecessary and incorrect settings that block all your actions directed towards the goal and from this the body subconsciously suppresses, tries to escape and as one of these reasons we see the emergence of panic attacks. I emphasize – this is just one of the reasons and I gave such an example because you can all be either like I described or completely different, but you have understood the very way towards which to start looking.
In my case, since childhood, I clamped, locked my desires and when I dreamed of doing something, I did it silently, in vain, so that nobody saw it, because I was terribly ashamed. I do not know one hundred percent why this shame arose, but I think because I was unsure of myself and had complete lack of confidence.
As far as this is a practical part of the site, there will be an example from my life. At the age of 12 I liked making antennas from the improvised material and installing them, then connecting to the radio receiver and catching the distant radio stations, and if I was constructing a television antenna, I tried to make the TV channels that had bad signal on the regular antenna to work well when using my antenna. I have to recall that it was the middle of the 90’s, Internet in Ukraine was very expensive and satellite television was too expensive as well. Therefore, as a boy from a provincial town I tried to find my own way out. But I will say that I liked the entire process, especially the creation of details and mastering the antenna. But we are here to speak on different. I was very shy that someone will see what I’m doing. Also, I was ashamed to install the antenna and connect it. I lived in an apartment building with a common yard so there were plenty of neighbors. I put my antenna on a wooden mast, which was raised on a tree next to the house and from there I let the cable go into the apartment. I raised very heavy loads as for a seven-year-old school student, but everything was okay. I did it in the evening when it was dark. I passed the cable right to the window of my apartment so that nobody saw it and the next day when the parents were not at home I opened the window and quickly dragged cable home. I was very shy, did everything stealthily and was very afraid that either my parents or neighbors would see me. Also, for example, I was very embarrassed to walk with a player and headphones in my ears, even when I constructed by myself low power transmitter and created a pirate FM radio, I had to go around the town and check where the signal was received. This was at the time I was at 7th or at 8th grade. But I was very embarrassed, I had bunch of complexes and this, undoubtedly, left a mark on my student life as well. Trying not to get rid of, but hide my complexes, unconsciously I chose the simplest method – to become friends with someone who has a strong and volitional character. So I have always been in the shadow of someone, I personally did not develop, but concealed complexes. I was leading with someone else’s ideas and goals, perceiving them for my own. This was the adaptation period in my student life. Already in this period alcohol appeared in my life and it created the illusion that everything was fine, everything was wonderful. I lived in that illusion not trying to analyze my life, not fighting with complexes, not working on myself and not doing any self-development. But any illusion comes to a halt quickly and then begins the reality, and reality hurts painfully with unfulfilled dreams, status, especially in comparison with others. And then a poor body subconsciously and deliberately oppresses itself with intrusive thoughts, pseudo ways out of the situation every day, every minute thinking of this all, works hard to find the way out, getting fatigue, that is, pushing itself into an even bigger and larger unreal world and as a result – realizing realities, disturbing states, obsessive thoughts, depression, alcohol. What to do? First of all, to admit to yourself what actually disturbs, what you really wanted, but it did not happen. You can sit in a locked room where there is silence and nobody except for you, where no one will disturb you and tell it aloud to yourself. It really will make it easier for you. This tangle needs to be unraveled, gradually. Getting rid of this the root causes of suppressed anxiety and discontent would also become clear and you’ll let them go. You may visit a psychologist, you can tell everything to yourself (although it is suitable not for all), you can find a trust in close to you, loving and understanding person – for example, mom – and tell her everything.
Another example of my life is not so about shame, but rather where shyness has become the cause of the complex, which greatly influenced the further adult life. At school I studied very well and was one of the best in the class, but on physical education lessons I was a little up than average middle, actually, I was weaker than tough guys in the class, therefore, I tried to make it up – I did a lot of pushups at home, did press muscles exercises – in the third grade at the age of 8 I made 40 pushups a day, in such a way fighting the complex, but once my father told me that this is wrong to do so intense exercises and I could badly influence my health and I stopped doing the exercises. At that time I was reading a self-defense guide book, which was presented to me by my uncle and I was desperately trying to learn how to fight. It is clear that a child at the age of 8 years will not learn how to fight himself. But the complex, or even more – stigmatized feeling that I am weak at physical culture lessons remained, and as you know, girls love not those who are excellent at studies, but strong bad guys – that is the way I thought, and then it eventually turned into my choice – I preferred to be friends, to have rest together and hang out with such “bad guys” identifying myself to be one of them in such a way. But my life and my vision differed radically from theirs; I spent my life just wasting days, spending money and not moving forward, but I could never became one of them, because I was different by my nature and I was brought up differently. In no way do I want to say anything bad about the guys with whom we were friends – they all take their place in life, do what they like, and some may do something they don’t like, but they think that there is no choice; I thank them for learning a lot from them, but then God gave me an understanding of going the other way. Here is an example of childhood complex that has transferred into underestimated self-esteem, misunderstanding of my place in society, misunderstanding where to go, what is my purpose and personal goals, which all later led to problems with the nervous system like disturbing states, panic attacks, spending money and time in vain, problems with alcohol.
Among all my complexes that really hold me back, as if they are connecting me with ropes and do not let me move forward there is a complex of what others think about me in my small town. And from this arise consequences – what should be done, so that they did not think badly; what to say; what to think; how to figure out, where to wait for a bug and awkward questions. Do not repeat my mistakes, if your situation is at least a bit like mine. Remember: everyone is really not interested in how you are, they are interested in themselves only. What to do when met “unwanted person“? You may not answer what you are asked or speak using short general phrases, in any case – not laughing, speak confidently, without weakness, to give a feel for the unwanted interlocutor that any information will not be extracted from you and you are not interested to provide conversation with him/her. Also, ask the interlocutor lots of your own questions. Ask: “What about you? How is your job? How is your personal life? “. Let him/her to talk about himself/herself and spend his/her energy, and if he/she does not want to, then you will see it and rather politely say goodbye and go on your own business. Do not be afraid to go into a real social world just because you made one opinion about yourself and your life turned differently. What we think in our heads, imagining a particular situation or what others think of us most often has nothing to do with reality. I give my personal example: I worked in a bank and earned well, but at the same time I wanted to remain “our guy” for the guys. I was ashamed that my classmates or groupmates could see me at work, because I worked at the bank department in the home appliance store; I was ashamed that I glue the paper loans announcement on pillars and distribute fliers with an invitation to arrange a loan at the market. I did not resign with myself inside my soul to have such a job, so I had to either ignore people’s thoughts or learn to cope with this or leave it and not oppress myself. I still saw myself earning money on the Internet, but at that time I did not have a personal “core”, strength of will and support of loved ones to start doing what I really wanted.
Who you are now is what you have created yourself and nobody is to blame for it. Who you are now is the result of your fears, uncertainty, complexes, lifestyle, upbringing and so on. Therefore, you do not need to complain about yourself, you need to analyze, correct, dispel a variety of negative thoughts such as “What others will think about me?». If such thought came out – just let it go, do not develop its scenario further. You are on the right path and everything will come out and it comes out now and you see these positive changes. Act on the call of the heart and you will not be deprived. Your panic attacks is a sign that you’ve strayed from the right path and you need to rearrange your GPS to start moving in the right direction, regardless of how far you have gone the wrong way.
There is still such an insidious thing when you are already on the right path – comes up a doubt that it’s not going to work because you started everything too late. For example – I’m already 30, so I started improving too late, if I started to change myself when I was 25 ... First of all, remember – it’s never too late! And not to think so, ask yourself a question – “And what if it really is too late, what to do then? Do not improve myself, lay my hands and get lost, leave everything as it is, degrade, start drinking and die or get into a hospital and cripple my life?” You surely do not want this to happen, then why you ask yourself such questions? And these are not your questions – this is your subconscious playing the game – scrolls endearing obsessive thoughts in your head, because human beings are very likely to doubt everything. I want to advise one important thing – doubt it, doubt everything, but at the same time do everything what you have planned for your recovery and correction, follow your plan, and within some time it all becomes a habit and then you will see yourself how in a month your life changed for the better and in two more months changes for best will be even more noticeable. Then most of the previous doubts will fade away and in half a year you would not recognize yourself previous at all, seeing how confident and happier you become.